September 2012
1 post
Gonna keep a record of how I'm feeling everyday.
Even if I can’t say anything to people I know, I should still get it out.
.
.
.
Today, I’m not okay.
July 2012
1 post
3 tags
[[MORE]]
So I made a post on my actual tumblr about how much I wanted to kill myself.
And I get messages on here and two text messages.
So that should be a good thing cause that means that people care.
So why do I keep lying to them saying that I’m okay when I’m really not?
Probably won’t be killing myself, but I’m not sure if I can stop myself from cutting. The urge...
May 2012
1 post
6 tags
It's one of those nights that I wish I could be in...
Maybe then I wouldn’t feel so horrible.
Maybe that would mean that someone actually cares about me and I won’t be alone forever.
God damn, I need to get a hold of myself.
I’m sick of being like this, but I also like it, don’t I? If I didn’t like this, I would just stop feeling like this. Right?
Right.
Fuck.
Just fuck.
I screwed part of my life over.
Just fuck...
March 2012
1 post
When your crush says "It's hard to find singles to...
pleymo1369:
First you’re like:
And then in your mind:
February 2012
7 posts
3 tags
I don't want to live anymore...
But I keep putting on a smile and optimistic act. I mean, a part of me actually is optimistic, but most of me just doesn’t want to live anymore. I just want to end it. I don’t want to deal with this anymore.
Death seems so easy, but it’s so permanent.
It doesn’t change the fact that I really want it, and I keep getting ignored by the one person who I need not to ignore...
7 tags
Only Wants in Life
-To love and be loved by the same person for the rest of at least one of our lives.
-To have at least one child and give them a better life than I had.
-Do something helpful and meaningful.
-Enjoy what I do for the rest of my life.
-Be happy.
Are those so hard to ask for?
Probably…
5 tags
Despite saying that I want to keep living...
I really just wish I would die. I’m too much of a puss to actually off myself, but still. I don’t wan to live how I am living right now.
Why are people so afraid of death?
The suffering ends there.
Guess I’ll just have to stick with cutting myself since it’s clear no one actually cares anymore. Well, at least not the people who I want/need to care.
5 tags
Have you ever thought...?
That if, by some bullshit chance, everything that happens to you during your life is controlled by someone or something, that there’s a little meeting that happens in order to try to fuck your life over some more? Like, I’m picturing this sort of casual encounter going on:
Dick1: Oh, hey there, David. What’s up?
Dick2: Oh, nothing much. Been browsing the internet and what not....
6 tags
Sometimes...
I just want to stop living.
It would be so much easier than to live, so why does everyone fight to continue to suffer?
I wonder if good things are to come.
Pshh… Look at me try to comfort myself with bullshit.
7 tags
So it's been awhile...
Basics:
-Boyfriend dumped me recently, and I’m still trying to get over it.
-Had a relapse with cutting not too long ago. Might happen more often.
-Started taking my anti-depressants again.
-Been extremely depressed and prone to crying.
-Having awesome times with awesome people and feeling special.
-Going between hating life and loving life.
-Little sleep and not eating properly.
...
January 2012
4 posts
8 tags
Here it Goes...
So I’m back at college. We don’t have classes today (thank goodness), so I had a very nice night with my boyfriend (minus the mark that he left at the front of my neck and the redness of my chin due to his facial hair scratching up against it, but I had a nice time), got something to eat in the morning, and organized my room. I think I might have been able to nap for a little bit, so...
5 tags
Unrelating to Me...
…But I’d just like to say how I’m amazed that I have only had this blog for less than a few hours, and I somehow managed to snag 3 followers. 2 of them seem awesome just based on their posts (one seems like they actually know music, and I’d just like to say that I love music, and by love music, I mean I play instruments and all that fancy junk, so that person is awesome),...
4 tags
News Only Exciting for Me
So, I figured an excellent first post with content should be something that will either attract many people or push people away.
This is something that I really shouldn’t be that excited about, but I guess there’s only one feeling to feel about this, and “excited” is the best word to describe it. Now, I’m in college, so you know I’m not some 12 year old girl...
5 tags
A Start
So I decided that it would suit my best interests to create a sort of online diary. Why? Because I like to get my thoughts out. It seems like such a waste to keep a private diary or journal since what does that benefit? Sure, it allows for venting, but why not share it with others in order to either a) get help, or b) help?
The only problem with posting online is that people I know would be able...
